Alexander (outofcapecod) wrote in lettersnotsent,
Alexander
outofcapecod
lettersnotsent

I posted this here last October:

Erica---

Don’t for a second think that you have broken my heart. Don’t be selfish enough to believe that you’ve gotten to me; that I’m going to miss you when I move back home. Because what little feelings I had left for you quickly drained out when the words left your mouth. Words I already knew to be true… but I’m the king of pretending the signs aren't there. I let you walk all over me. I let you dictate how I would spend my life. You are the reason I failed and dropped out. You never broke my heart, just my spirit. I saw it coming and let it happen anyway. I’m such a huge fucking loser that I passively sat back and watched these things happening to me. Maybe I could’ve stopped them. Maybe I truly was being an asshole, like you said, and I could’ve treated you better and kept you around and given you everything you wanted, but I consider myself lucky to have escaped that life.

You said our relationship was doomed a long time ago; thanks for never telling me you felt this way until it was over. I told my family you were the one. Guess I jumped the gun on that one.

I hope the two of you share some good laughs over how much of a failure your ex-boyfriend is.

I hope he consumes all of your time, energy, and money and begs you to blow off homework assignments to spend time with him.

I hope he goes out of town on your birthday and runs into a girl he used to know….

And then I hope he cheats on you so you know just how it feels.

----Alex



AND TODAY:

Erica,

It’s obvious to me now just how much I was hurting when I wrote that last letter. It took time for those wounds to heal, but now I realize that your breaking up with me was quite possibly the best thing that could ever happen to me. Because it led me to Sarah.

You’re not half the woman she is, despite the fact that you’ve got four years on her.

I'm happily in love and you're alone. I'd be a liar if I said that didn't make me smile, just a little.



Alex.
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